New Year's Eve

Ok, now it hurts. Those drain tubes are awful tonight. It was hurting, so I removed the tight binder. Now it seems to hurt more than when the binder was on. And yes, I did take 2 Advils a little while ago, but I think I should probably go put the binder back on, grab the Advil bottle, whatever alcoholic bottle I can reach most easily, and drown my sorrows. Ow...ow...ow...

Went in today to St. Joe's where Dr. Schultz's PA and nurse checked my incision and drains and removed half of the staples. They removed about every other one. I have an appointment to go back on Thursday to have the remainder removed. I couldn't have the drains removed today, because there is still enough fluid coming out to warrant them. Without them, if fluid builds up, it will have to be aspirated, and I don't want to have to go through that. They were very pleased with how everything is healing. There isn't any inflammation or infection or fluid buildup going on. That really is great.

I seem to have this weird, masochistic compulsion to sleep on my left side, even though that's where the drains are.  I could easily sleep on my right side or back, but I get it into my head that that's where I have to sleep.  And so I find myself lying there, on top of the stupid drain, just so I can face the left side.  How dumb is that?

It's just about 10:15, and Jim has already said good-bye to 2007 and gone off to bed.  I'm planning to finish this off and join him in a few minutes.  What party animals we are!  Actually, I should celebrate the end of this dismal year of unfortunate events.  Bring on the new year!  Enough of this nasty old 2007.  It's been a trial in many ways, but we've come through it with flying colors, both of us, and I know we are stronger for it.  Jim has a favorite saying: "Lord, challenge me today."  Well, it's been a whole year of challenges, and I, for one, would welcome a break.  I wish us all a Happy and Healthy New Year!

PHOTO:  Fireworks taken on the 4th of July a couple of years ago.    

Rainy Sunday

Not that I'm complaining - I'm glad we're having rain. We're still many inches below what we're supposed to have for our annual precipitation, and although we've had a couple of rains lately, the reservoir is still very low. The temperature is still above freezing, but there's a weather watch going on and they are saying there is a possibility of slippery roads in our county on Monday. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning at St. Joseph's, so we should plan to leave earlier than normal to avoid any traffic problems.

This afternoon I went to Kohl's and did some clothes shopping. The racks look pretty messy after the Christmas rush and after-Christmas sales. Things were in a shambles, but some items were on sale for up to 90% off, so it was worth the hunt. I found myself mentally reorganizing the chaos the way I thought it would look better. (Having worked in my Dad's family grocery store when I was a teenager, I have to stop myself from "bringing the stock forward" on grocery shelves. When I'm shopping, I've been known to "tidy things up" on the shelves when they are out of order.) It's been months since I've gone into a store to shop for clothes, but I was lucky today, and found 7 pants and tops that I was happy with. I didn't try anything on - way too complex in the fitting room with my drains and Hemovac -so I'll just return anything that won't work. I found 1 item at 70% off, 4 at 80% off, and 2 at 90% off. Of course we all know everything is way overpriced to begin with, so the close-out prices are probably about what they're really worth. At least in my opinion. But it's fun to think we're getting a bargain.

Tonight we had the roasted pork and sauerkraut for dinner. I used pork tenderloin, a package of sauerkraut, a Granny Smith apple, onion, caraway seed, sage, garlic, and brown sugar. It smelled good cooking, turned out pretty well, and we easily have a couple more meals left from it. I wonder if I can freeze half of it? Otherwise we'll be so sick of it I'll never want to make it again.

We have a hibiscus forest growing in our basement. Five hibiscus plants from our patio are on light timers, and yesterday I finally thought about them. With my surgery and their being out of sight, I completely forgot about watering the poor things. Well, although one still looks a little peaked, the others are all glossy green and turgid again, so I got away with it this time.   Whew! 

PHOTO:  A macro photo of one of the peach hibiscus blossoms in full bloom.

Oh Right, Pain Pills ...

Ow...ow...ow... I've been sitting here reading and my drain is hurting.  It's actually 2 drains that drain into one, and that one is attached to the Hemovac receptacle, so there are 2 tubes sticking out of my side.  I just can't seem to get comfortable tonight.  The binder I'm wearing, a velcro band about 6 inches wide that goes around me, sometimes drives me nuts.  It's supposed to be tight but comfortable, if that's even possible. When it's tight enough to be functioning as it's supposed to, it digs into my side because of the tubing. The purpose is to keep fluid from building up between the skin and muscle. I was complaining and Jim asked if I had taken a pain pill. Oh! No, actually. I forgot about my pain pills.

Well, now that I took one, I'm feeling better. Never mind ...

Jim and I went grocery shopping together today. He wanted to be there to push the cart and haul bags so that I wouldn't overdo it. We almost never go grocery shopping together, so this was fun. We ended up with stuff we normally don't buy, and still got out of the store for under $100 - although not by much. Jim wants to make some Boston Baked Beans, I want to bake some sauerkraut and a pork roast, we got a couple of Cornish game hens, some artichokes, Brussel sprouts, parsnips, and crab meat. Plus all the other normal stuff. We'll be eating well!

Jim is seriously watching the Patriots/Giants game on TV. Being from Massachusetts, he's always been a Patriots fan, and this is history making football tonight. The Patriots are on their way to a perfect season - no losses. It would be amazing if they win. I'm not a sports fan myself, but Jim is, and his whole family will be thrilled if they pull it off.

They won! 38-35. Good for them!

PHOTO: Avoca, Ireland, the setting of the BBC television program Ballykissangel.  They make woven linens here.

A Week Since Surgery

It's been a week today since my surgery, and all is well.  I have no complaints - just the small annoyances of the tubing and itchiness.  I'm really amazed that I have had hardly any pain.  I take a little medication when I go to bed so that I will sleep through the night, but it's been a relatively minor amount - just a half a tablet and Benadryl.  I wonder why it is that the surgery has been so relatively pain free.  There's not even much in the way of bruising, just a slight amount.  I had a great deal of bruising when I had a stereotactic core biopsy - I looked terrible.

I haven't ventured out of the house yet, with the exception of going to my doctor's appointment yesterday. I think it's time I did, though, and tomorrow I plan to go out for a little while. I know that I tire easily, however, so I won't do too much, just some grocery shopping.

I purchased a camisole on line that is for women who've had mastectomies. It's a very comfortable soft cotton, and has pockets that a velcro prosthesis can be attached to. The prosthesis is one that is just made of fiberfill so it's light weight, and it doesn't touch the skin.  You place it inside the cotton pocket. The camisole is quite comfortable. I haven't used the prosthesis yet, but it's there if I want to try it out. I'm not as concerned as I was before the operation about being flat on one side. Somehow it's less of an issue to me than it was. I do plan to go to a fitter - perhaps to Nordstrom's - and get some expert help, but I'll wait a little on that, until after the staples and tubes are removed and I'm healed over. Our insurance company is changing on January 1st to another carrier, and I don't know yet what coverage I will have with the new one. Some insurance companies will pay for prostheses and others pay for some mastectomy products. We haven't received our new insurance cards and coverage details yet.  I did send them an email today to find out what the hold up is.  Supposedly we will get them in a few days.

PHOTO:  Unfolding Red Maple leaves in early spring.

My New Reality

Well, it turns out I was able to go to the doctor's office today after all. His receptionist called at 7:15 this morning and said he wanted to see me instead of waiting until tomorrow, so it worked out for everyone. Jim had a 9:45 appointment at St. Joe's today anyway, and we were able to make them both around the same time. One of my drains was removed - hooray! - and I saw the incision for the first time. Yikes! It's a horizontal zipper of staples all the way across my left chest. It's very neat, I have to say. The nurses said he had done a beautiful job. Yes, I suppose everything's relative. Hardly any bruising at all, just mostly redness from my allergy to the surgical tape. I'm still compressed with the binder to avoid a buildup of fluid. There is numbness under the arm, which worked in my favor when he pulled the drain tube out. I didn't feel it at all, and asked the nurse if he had already done it - which he had. The next drain will most likely be removed on Monday, when I have another appointment. I hope I remember to take an Advil before that. I've heard it helps with the pain when they remove drains. The pain only lasts for a few seconds, but those are pretty intense seconds. And then again, maybe I'll still be numb, so it will be like today's non-event.

I do have full range of motion with my arm, which is great. I'm able to put my arms up over my head, behind my head, etc. with hardly any pain. I do get a pulling sensation along my forearm to my elbow, which makes me wonder if it's a nerve being tugged, or what it is. Obviously part of the healing process.

Every day will be a little better. I'm just glad the biggest hurdles are behind me, and they weren't so big after all!

PHOTO: Pink dogwood tree in bloom last spring.

It's Happy Dance Time!

I was supposed to have a follow up appointment with my surgeon early tomorrow morning, but it was postponed to Friday afternoon because the pathology report probably wouldn't be ready by then. The report would probably be delayed because of the Christmas holiday and because it takes a long time to examine the entire breast tissue and the nodes. Each of the nodes, which is the size of a kidney bean, is sliced into 6 pieces and it is thoroughly examined through MRI, a special machine bought specifically for the Breast Center. The entire breast is also sliced up - "bread loafed" as they call it, and all of that tissue is examined the same way. Dr. Schultz said it's a long and thorough process and he didn't know if the report would be back in time for my appointment.

When we returned home tonight I had an email from Dr. Schultz. Apparently the pathology report has been completed, and "there was NO RESIDUAL TUMOR found in either the entire breast nor in the nodes. Sounds like a perfect result!"

Wow! I'm thrilled. This pathology report is the one thing that had made me nervous and concerned, even more so than the surgery. I somehow had a feeling it would be bad news, but it couldn't have a better outcome. The chemo totally eliminated the breast cancer. Are these guys good or what?

We had our Christmas dinner today at Karen and David's. Karen made a traditional beef rib roast, Yorkshire pudding, mashed potatoes, asparagus, beet salad, creamed onions, and red velvet cake for dessert. Karen's Mom, Joan, has a case of shingles - on her head! - and is feeling badly. That's why the dinner was put off a day. She spent yesterday in the Emergency Room.

It was great to be together as a family today, watching the kids playing with their loot. If Joan had been feeling good, the day would have been perfect.

PHOTO: Madonna and Child stained glass window in the Vatican Museum.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Today was a beautiful, bright day - no snow, not even cold enough to snow. We were invited to Karen and David's house for Christmas dinner, but something happened to change the plans. Karen's parents are visiting from Florida, and her mother ended up in the Emergency Room this morning with what was diagnosed as shingles. She was in a lot of discomfort, so today's visit was postponed until tomorrow, depending on how she's feeling by then. Jim ended up getting shingles about five years ago. At the time, he thought it was a case of poison ivy, since he had been doing some tree and brush trimming. It was pretty uncomfortable for him, I remember. I don't remember what he was given to treat it.

I'm still feeling good, although just a little pinchy, twingy when I move certain ways. I suppose it's healing going on. The drains are somewhat uncomfortable. I try not to think about them. The thing that I do have a problem with is a rash. I am allergic to surgical tape, and even though Dr. Schultz used paper tape to avoid the problems of contact dermatitis I've had in the past, I still ended up with a rash. It seems to be all around the dressings. Major body parts removed, and that's not a problem - instead I react to tape. Go figure. I have redness and bumps, and it's very itchy.

Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and Health and Happiness in the New Year.
Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward Men.

Marley's Ghost

It's been a quiet day here, with phone calls from relatives and two naps on my part. The kitties think it's great that I was sprawled out in our king-sized bed, and all four of them ended up zonked out with me. When I got up, there was a four way bath going on.

I'm still feeling good. I notice some numbness on the left side, not a big deal. I'm still have the occasional pain tug. Not much at all. I still seem to have full range of motion overhead and out to the sides. I'm very pleased and relieved that so far I've had so little pain.

I feel badly about a gift order I sent away for. I received the order today, as well as a duplicate order of the same thing, a toy. I didn't notice until about 6:00, but the invoice inside the second box was addressed to another person, although both boxes had my name and address on the outside. We tried to call the company, but they had already closed. That means that some poor little kid won't be getting his Christmas present on time. Sigh ...

Remember Jacob Marley, the hapless ghost in Dickens story, A Christmas Carol? He was Ebeneezer Scrooge's business partner, the poor guy who ended up wrapped in chains, dragging his accounting books around throughout eternity. When he was alive he didn't keep Christmas in his heart, and that was his punishment. Anyway, it occurred to me that I have a slight resemblence to Marley with my fluid drains banging and clanging around my waist. Well, that's my Christmas story and I'm sticking to it.

I'm Back!

Hi Readers, if you've been following you know that I had mastectomy surgery on Friday Dec. 21st. It went perfectly, according to Dr. Schultz, my breast surgeon. He came in the following day to see me, and said he was very pleased with the whole operation. He told me he often Monday-morning quarterbacks his work, thinking he could have done this or that differently, but this surgery went very smoothly, and took just over an hour. I think he said that the tissue planes cleaved easily. Jim thinks that sounds like when you pull apart salmon on a plate.

Then afterwards in the recovery room, I'm told I wouldn't wake up. I was in there for nearly 4 hours. From what I hear, the nurses kept talking to me and trying to get me to take deep breaths because my heart rate was high - 122, but I ignored them. Finally they went out to the waiting room and got Jim to come in to try to get through to me. Eventually it worked - I responded to him. The thing is I wasn't getting enough oxygen, so that's why my heart was racing. They wanted it to go below 100, which it eventually did.

The sentinnel node nuclear medicine procedure didn't work. The isotope they use is technetium. It was supposed to dye and identify all the nodes that drained from the breast, but there weren't any evident in the dying procedure. For whatever reason, the dye didn't uptake. The technician said not to worry - Dr. Schultz would just use a Geiger counter to locate them during surgery. Hmmmmmm.....

I'm not really in much, if any, pain at all. I get twinges occasionally, but nothing much. I'm wearing a stiff velcroed binder that is holding everything tight. I have two drains in, but they aren't too annoying. And I have been able to empty them myself! I spent Friday night in the hospital, in a private room, taken care of by very nice nurses. I have nothing but good things to say about St. Joseph's Hospital, the staff and their procedures. It was a very good hospital experience. I also had a visit from the physical therapist, who went through all the exercises I needed to do in order to maintain a full range of motion. I was able to do everything without any pain, even reaching up over my head and crawling my fingers up the wall. It just didn't hurt at all. Maybe it was because they had given me enough pain medication to manage everything, but it was only Motrin. Now when I reach up I get a sharp pinching feeling, like someone is pinching my arm with a tweezer. It's probably the internal stitch pulling.

I feel good, although I am pretty tired and have been sleeping a lot since I got home. I even slept all night in the hospital except for the times when I had to be wakened for blood pressure and temperature readings.

Dr. Schultz came in on Saturday morning to chat and tell me how everything went. As I said earlier, he was very happy with the outcome and gave me the green light to go back to all my normal activities - even driving. He doesn't want me to stay home. He said to go out for Christmas and surprise everyone. So I will!

PHOTO: My Breast Cancer Warrior doing her Victory Dance!

Surgery Eve

I've been on the phone for hours! It seems as though everyone I ever knew has called me over the past 2 days to wish me well tomorrow with my surgery. I'm overwhelmed with how sweet and considerate everyone has been, and it's really done me good to hear from so many people. I don't know if it hasn't really sunk in that I'll be in surgery tomorrow or not, but for some reason I'm not feeling very concerned about it. I do have a lot of confidence in my surgeon, and I'm sure he will do a good job.

One thought right now is that I hope I'm not one of the unfortunate few who don't really go out under anesthesia and who feel the whole operation. Now that would be horrible, but I personally know of people who have had this awful experience.

On a happier note, Cathy and her Mom, who is visiting from New York, had Sharon and me for Tea this afternoon. We had a wonderful time. Cathy had all kinds of scrumptious foods for us to eat, with fresh pots of delicious tea to drink. She even had a special honey dipper that hung on the side of the jar to avoid having the handle get all gooey. How cool is that? It was a really nice afternoon. We exchanged Christmas gifts and talked and laughed and had a great time. I have such good friends.

I expect that I won't be blogging for a couple of days, but I don't think it will be too long before I'm back. I'm sure I'll have plenty of frightening, hilarious, scary, ridiculous, embarassing, exasperating moments to share that won't seem at all funny at the time but will make for good blog fodder once I'm home. Stay tuned. Over and out.

PHOTO: Me and my Honey ...

Monkey Business

Another day closer to my surgery ... sigh. Not much happening here today, although we spoke on the phone with several different family members. It was really nice to talk to everybody.

Spent some time working on Christmas projects. I'm about as finished as I'm going to get. Last night I made fudge, which turned out exceptionally well. I mailed some off today to my mother, who's living in a really nice assisted living facility in a Cleveland suburb. She has a sweet tooth and loves chocolate. At least I know that is a gift she will enjoy. She's 88 years old and has Alzheimer's, or at least some form of dementia that particularly affects her short term memory. In the course of a few minutes she forgets what has been said and asks the same questions over and over again. I never told her about my cancer diagnosis. She wouldn't be able to follow what's going on, would be upset, and wouldn't remember most of what I told her.

Did you hear about the monkey problem in India? I was listening to the news and they were talking about all the monkeys that are running amok in India. They're taking over the cities by the thousands, like the pigeons in St. Mark's square. They can't be killed because devout Hindus believe the monkeys are manifestations of the monkey god Hanuman. The monkeys are really causing problems - stealing food, cell phones, biting tourists, riding on the subways, jumping through open windows. Some of them broke into the Department of Ministries and threw classified documents all over the place. I wonder, maybe they're being trained as spies by the Pakistanis to ferret out their nuclear secrets.

PHOTO: A rope coiled on the dock, Annapolis, MD.

Turn the Light on for the Birds?

I went to St. Joseph's today - not because of an appointment, but I wanted to drop off some Christmas gifts to the nurses in the Oncology Department before I go in for my surgery. I had made some goodies and also wanted to give each of them one of my handmade jewelry sets - necklace and earrings. I've missed them since I'm on a hiatus from treatment until January, at least. Anyway, it was really nice to see them again. They're Super Women. I know from my own experience that they make a real difference in how the patients feel going through their chemo treatments.

Afterwards, Jim and I ended up shopping at Costco for a few things. Not an easy feat, you know. It's very difficult to get through the checkout line at Costco for less than $100, but we actually did today. Less than $90, as a matter of fact. Jim says any time he brings me along, it's guaranteed to be over $100, but I think he exaggerates. And especially now, in the middle of the Christmas shopping season, I didn't cave in to temptation. Hooray!

Anyway, I saw something that really puzzled me. A Solar Powered Bird Feeder. Does that make any sense to you? It was the only one of its kind, and it was hanging up next to the price tag - $47.99 - and there was no box to refer to for an explanation. I tried to figure out what it was all about but I'm still puzzled. Birds don't feed at night, so do they really need a lighted feeder? Maybe it does double duty as a lantern after dark. It was very nice looking - about 2 feet long, made of copper with a glass feeder tube. I suppose it might be a good conversation piece if you have an extra $48 you don't really need.

PHOTO: Pink azaleas in full bloom at Brighton Dam, MD.

Bookies Christmas Party

The Bookies (book club) Christmas lunch at the Olive Garden today couldn't have been better. Well, maybe if we hadn't had to wait so long to get our table, but other than that, it was perfect. We had a leisurely time, starting with a magnum bottle of the house wine, Principato Rosato, for the table. We all decided on sharing the bottomless salad, soup, and breadsticks. Such a terrific lunch. Afterwards we shared two desserts, Chocolate Gelato and Black Tie Mousse Cake. We just kept them going around the table, everybody taking a bite and passing it along, until they were gone. Totally delicious. And to top it all off, Caramel Hazelnut Macchiato - a coffee with amaretto, caramel, hazelnut flavoring and whipped cream. Mmmmmmmmm...........

We have such a good time together. Lots of laughs, shared stories, and getting caught up with what's going on in our lives. It's a very congenial group, and I'm so glad to be a part of it. Besides the book club, I used to see most of them twice a week at the pool for water aerobics, but since starting chemo, I haven't been allowed to go to a public pool. I really miss it. Not sure when I'll be returning, but I'll have to wait until I heal from surgery. I don't know about going to the pool while I'm getting radiation treatments.

Everyone was so supportive regarding my upcoming surgery, giving advice and their own experiences, making me feel relaxed. Three of the six of us have had breast cancer. Not such good odds, actually. We talked about my concerns with prosthetics, getting fitted for a mastectomy bra, and waiting out the time until I get reconstructed. They've made offers to help out if they can, which really means a lot to me, although I'll be fine. Pat, a retired nurse, even offered to come over and empty my drain for me, which was sweet. But I'll leave that special chore for Jim to do, if I can't deal with it myself. Poor Jim. But he isn't squeamish, so I don't think it will be a problem for him.

PHOTO: Winter pansies in our yard, taken in the winter of 2005.

Pizzelles

Sharon and I have been saying for more than a year that we would get together and make pizzelles - the Italian pressed cookies. Well, today was the day. Sharon brought over her pizzelle maker and I had mine (neither one had ever been used before.) We both had classic recipes that turned out to be the same thing, so that's the one we went with. We followed it to the letter. The electric pizzelle makers worked really well. The only difference in them is that mine made 2 cookies at a time and Sharon's made 1. With hers, she had the option of making a much larger cookie, but we ended up making them all the same size.

Anyway, we made 3 batches - lemon, almond, and anise. They turned out really well, but it's a long process making cookies 1 -or 2 - at a time. We've baked cookies together a few other times, and it's always fun. We work well together as a team.

Tomorrow's event is our annual book club Christmas lunch. We'll be going to The Olive Garden, where we went last year. It should be another great eating event.

PHOTO: A thatched roof on a building on a very old Irish sheep farm.

Time's a Wastin'

We were all braced for a snow storm today, but it hasn't happened yet, and it looks like the storm will probably be north of us. We may get some rain, which is fine, but perhaps not the snow. We were looking at the weather report for other areas of the country, and it looks pretty awful. Makes me glad we live in Maryland, where we don't tend to get the deep snow that others do. We do, however, have a toboggan in the basement that hasn't seen a good workout since our first winter here.

You should see these kitties of ours. They are so cute, all snuggled up together on the couch. There's a daisy chain bath going on - each one is bathing the next one. It's a perfectly comfortable temperature here in our house, but they must sense that it's cold outside, because they've been hunkering down together for long winter's naps quite a bit lately. Paddle doesn't get up until the afternoon sometimes. I think I'll grab the camera and try to get a good shot.

One of the things I'm really enjoying about this Christmas season is receiving all the cards from our friends and family. There are several that we only hear from at Christmas, and it's good to get those letters. One family I love to hear from lives in central California. When I started working at UCSD in 1987, Debbie was my supervisor. She started a month before I did. In 1990, she delivered a set of fraternal triplets. The babies were fine, but it was touch and go for her - she needed 52 pints of blood after the delivery, but she pulled through just fine. She didn't work at the university for too long after that, understandably, and a while after that their family moved away from the San Diego area. We still receive Christmas letters and a photo every year from her, and it's really nice to have seen the kids grow up. Now they're discussing college. Yikes! That's a sobering thought. I still remember seeing the cartoon faces of each baby that her husband had drawn on her belly when she was on bed rest for several months before they were born.

I keep checking over my project list to do before my surgery on Friday, and it isn't getting any shorter. I seem to keep busy, but I'm not accomplishing any of the things I need to get done. I know I'm going to start panicking in about a day or two. It's that same feeling I get when I know we're going on vacation and I have dozens of chores to do before we go away. In this case, regretfully, it's hardly a vacation I'll be going on. It's not as if some terrible pall is going to settle over the house if I don't get them done, I would just like to feel that I've tied up all the loose ends. Oh well ...

PHOTO: This was a pretty good shot of the bath going on betweeen Pong and Ming Poo. Ball had gone to sleep. Notice the cute little pink tongues. After I put the camera away, Paddle joined in and all four were giving each other a bath. Really sweet.

Road Trip

Wow, we really had a good time today. Cathy, Carolyn, Sharon, and I went to York PA today and visited the new Christmas Tree Shop and several other stores. We all managed to find several gifts and other items, and it was really fun, even just looking at all the good stuff. The prices are pretty low as well. Had a delicious lunch at Isaac's Deli. They have really good soups, salads, and sandwiches. The desserts were really tempting, but we managed to resist - just barely.

The best thing, of course, was just being together and enjoying the day. The scenery is beautiful on the trip up there, sprawling farmland, lots of trees. It took about 70 minutes or so, which isn't too bad. We'd planned to go yesterday, but the weather wasn't very good, so we changed our plans, and it was good that we did. Tomorrow and Sunday are supposed to be bad weather-wise, so going today was perfect.

We talked about getting together for crafting after the New Year, when things have settled down in our lives. Cathy, Sharon, and I have done that quite a bit - crafting, I mean. We want to get involved in polymer clay next, since we have the tools, the clay, and the instruction books already. Having Carolyn join us would be great. She has quite a bit of experience with polymer clay already, since she is an artist and art teacher. We'll have a great time.

PHOTO: Pong, the mighty hunter, with a hapless mole he caught. Taken a couple of years ago.

Puttering Around

This was a quiet day around the house. I managed to accomplish a lot of domestic things, including laundry, cleaning, and organizing. You'd think with all I've already mentioned, there wouldn't be any more to be done, but life happens, and the same old stuff gets shifted around. Oh well.

I also called to schedule my pre-op physical and blood work. I had completely forgotten about that until Sharon mentioned it yesterday. If I hadn't taken care of that, my surgery would have been cancelled. It's amazing how I manage to forget really imprtant things and fixate on the piddly stuff. Must be a Freudian thing - my subconscious is not happy with the idea of whacking off major body parts. Neither is my conscious, for that matter.

My eyelashes are growing back, but while they are growing in a solid, neat line across the eye lids, they are coming in white. Oh joy. I really do hope that changes. My lashes were always black and very long. I sometimes had a problem with them hitting my glasses. Well, these have a long way to go before that becomes a problem, but the white part is not what I was hoping for. The brows are also starting to come in, but sparsly so far. My hair is wavy in the back. That's new. My hair has always been straight.

PHOTO: From a couple of summers ago: Jim was out mowing the lawn when the wind blew off his hat. Before he could react, the mower ran over it, and this is what was left, feathers and all. He brought it in, innocently asking "Can you fix this?" We both had a good laugh, but it was too bad - that was his favorite hat!

Serenity Tearoom

Today's Red Hat event was quite a success. The tearoom, Serenity Tearoom in Frederick, was a cozy Victorian setting with a pleasant hostess/owner and staff, and wonderful food. We each had our pick from a selection of teas that covered 4 pages. Everyone got their own teapot with their own choice of tea. The tea sandwiches were delicious, and the scones - with homemade jam, lemon curd, and mock Devonshire cream - were large and still warm from the oven. There were 4 different kinds of desserts. The hostess told us that 97% of the items on the menu were homemade on the premises. All in all, the food was just delicious.

Each month's event is hostessed by a different member or members of the chapter. (There are 20 members in our group.) All year the hostesses have been adding items to a very large Tea Basket. The basket was the grand prize in December for a lucky ticket holder. Everyone was hoping to win that basket. It was overflowing with goodies. On the tables, each member had a little red and purple decorated votive favor filled with red and PURPLE (found in New York) M&M's. We played several tunes and carols on our kazoos, the official Red Hat musical instrument. It's a riot. Everyone brought their Christmas cards for the members, to save on postage, which caused a flurry of activity as we all tried to find the right named card bag in which to deposit our cards. We also voted on the new December 2008 basket. The winning votes went to a Spa Basket, which will allow for lots of pampering gifts to be added each month. We'd all love to win that one as well.

I was touched that our hostesses this month had made a cash donation in my honor to the Susan B. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation. That was really a nice gesture, and I appreciated it very much.

After the tea, on our way to the car, Sharon and I walked into a few shops and looked around. In our fancy getups, we got a lot of comments and smiles. It's hard not to notice a Red Hatter with the red shoes, purple outfits, shawls, boas, hats, long strands of pearls, jewelry, and of course, Sharon's red lace-trimmed leather "bra purse." One shop owner commented on the Christmas ornaments decorating our hats, and suggested he had some small wind chimes we could add to them. Now that would be just a little over the top, don't you think? As we left, I told Sharon we probably looked like a pair of Senior Hookers. She said I was probably right! At least we didn't get any solicitations. But we did get an offer of help with directions from a gentleman dressed in Civil War garb - a docent from the National Museum of Civil War Medicine. Nice town, Frederick. And a fun day.

PHOTO: Sharon (left) and Joan, wearing Groucho disguises, at a Red Hat picnic in August 2006.

Foggy Tuesday

This was a pretty foggy day. As the week progresses we are supposed to get some bad weather. But I'm not complaining - not seeing what other people in the country are experiencing right now. Deadly ice storms, power lines down, trees uprooted and branches breaking off from the shear weight of the ice. So many without power, which probably means no heat in cases where they heat with electricity. And so many weather-related deaths. It's been one awful year, all things considered. I think quite a few people will be glad to kiss 2007 goodbye.

Yesterday morning we saw a red fox in our back yard. At first Jim thought it was a big cat, but it was definitely a fox. He was just nosing around, looking for something to eat I suppose. It makes us a little nervous, since our cats go outside. All but Ming Poo. He would probably eat her up.

Tomorrow is a Red Hat Christmas Tea. I haven't been going to our monthly events very often lately, but I decided to go to this one. It's in Frederick, which is quite a distance away. Haven't been to this tea room before, so it will be good to see somewhere new. I spent some time a little while ago figuring out what to wear tomorrow. We wear red hats and purple outfits, with red and purple accessories. It all looks pretty outrageous individually, with the feather boas and all, but a room full of red hat women is quite beautiful. My hair is only about an inch long now, so the hat isn't very becoming - no hair shows. Oh well.

PHOTO: A doggie swim at Merritt Athletic Club. The night before they drain and clean the pool, for a $5.00 fee, the Club allows people to bring their dogs to swim. The dogs have a wonderful time, very excited, playing with their toys and each other. All the proceeds go to the Humane Society. Tonight was the swim, but this is a photo from last year's swim.

Organizing Myself

This was a moderately productive day. I made myself a list of things I want to accomplish in the next 10 days, and did some of them. I feel much more in control when there is a list, and I don't have to worry that something is falling through the cracks; I don't have to keep everything in my head. Besides, it give me a lot of satisfaction to be able to scratch things off as they are finished. I also worked for a little while in the basement, organizing things again. It's looking better down there, although there's still way too much "stuff."

I cooked a New England Boiled Dinner tonight, and it was very tasty. Corned beef, cabbage, potatoes, parsnip, carrots, and onions. We haven't had it in quite a while, and it really hit the spot. Also, once you put the meat in the pot with the package of seasonings that comes with the meat, simmer it for several hours, all you have to do later is add the veggies. Jim likes the cabbage a little firm, so it goes in last.

I did some Christmas shopping on line tonight, and I feel good about that. A couple less things to worry about. We are cutting back on Christmas this year, but there are still certain gifts that we will give, regardless. Jim and I agreed to a nominal gift for each other, but I have a sneaking suspicion he may not stick to our agreement. I'm planning to make up some homemade items for some of our gifts, and I really need to hurry up with that.

PHOTO: "Maybe we should have stuck with store bought cookies instead of baking them." My sentiments about the cookie-making endeavors! Poor Santa.

Cookie Exchange

The Cookie Exchange turned out to be a fun event. I was relieved to see that my cookies were no worse than any of the others. A couple of people also broke the rules - one person made bar cookies, oh dear! ...and another person besides myself made chocolate chip cookies, my goodness! Others were up until midnight baking. The funniest thing was that Chandra, the Cookie Nazi (and I say that with love) who made up the rules, the main one being we needed to bring 3 dozen each of 2 different cookies only made 2 dozen of each of hers. I wonder if she realized her mistake. She didn't attend because she needed to rest in bed (she's 7 1/2 months pregnant and is starting to have contractions) but sent her cookies along with us.

We had other things to eat, chicken salad sandwiches, deviled eggs, and different drinks. Surprisingly, it wasn't a "Women Only" event - there were 2 men there (one was the hostess's husband) and a 3rd man was supposed to come but was sick. He really had wanted to come. He was a trooper, though, and sent his cookies up with us. They were very good! He even sent along copies of his recipes.

That was the one thing I forgot to do. Wouldn't you know it - I broke another rule. Oh well, I don't think anyone noticed, and I didn't bother to point it out. We all ended up with tons of cookies, and it will be nice to be able to lay out a variety of cookies if company comes over. All in all it was a fun event, and Sharon has already volunteered to host next year's exchange. A new tradition has been born.

I have to tell you about a surprise Sharon had for me just as I was about to drive myself home. She gave me a huge box filled with meals from her freezer that she has been putting together for the past couple of weeks - portions for two people of 3 different soups, a pot roast meal, meatballs, cakes, and banana bread. There were so many containers that I wasn't sure I would be able to fit it all in our freezers, but I did. All this is for us to have available when I am in the hospital and after I get home, so that we can take out dinner and heat it up in the microwave or stovetop. I was completely overwhelmed! I can't believe she would do so much for us, and completely on the sly. What a wonderful gesture of friendship. I am blessed with such good friends!

PHOTO: Our Feline Four, snuggling for a long winter's nap.

Cookie Disasters

After a long and frustrating day, we are watching Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman performing together at a concert being aired on MPT public television. It's one of my favorite songs. Really well done.

On the positive side, Cathy invited her friends over to a Tree Trimming Party, and it was wonderful. The tree was absolutely gorgeous, there were tons of ornaments, lots of food and drink, and we had a marvelous time together. It was especialy nice to get us into the Christmas spirit, since some of us aren't having a tree this year.

The frustration came about because of the dratted Cookie Exchange happening tomorrow. I've never had so many things go wrong baking cookies. The planets must be misaligned today. It was a disaster in the kitchen. Long story short - after baking the first batch - Crackle Top Molasses Cookies - I took a bite, Jim took a bite, and the whole batch went out to the birds. I just hope they don't get sick and die. They were terrible, absolutely awful. The next cookie I made was called Toffee Studded Snickerdoodles. Those were somewhat better, but nothing to write home about. Disappointing. I won't make them again, and they got rave reviews. Both Cookies did on All Recipes.com.

The thing is, this Cookie Exchange I've been invited to has a lot of rules for the guests. Bring three dozen cookies of two different types, - 2 dozen to exchange and a dozen to be sampled by the guests at the party. Cookies must be homemade, and the main ingredient must be flour, i.e. no "no-bake" cookies or candies. No bar cookies, no meringues, no cookies with walnuts, no chocolate chip cookies allowed unless they are really different. Cookies should be arranged in a basket or platter. Bring copies of the recipes for each of the guests. Festive attire is encouraged.

Now, I'm at an age when I don't like having to adhere to rules - especially about parties, and I find myself chafing at all these restrictions. As Cathy remarked, it's like the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld, only this is the Cookie Nazi. She's right!

The thing is, Sharon had a disaster with her cookies also, and she bakes cookies all the time and never has any problems. Sharon's neighbor was planning to come but he's sick. He's sending his cookies along with Sharon. I tell you, it's those darned planets!

But here's the kicker. It turns out that Chandra, the woman who organized this party, won't be attending. Her sister, who lives an hour away, has taken over, so we'll be driving up there instead. Chandra is about 6 months pregnant, recently fell down a flight of stairs, and is now experiencing some pains. Obviously, she needs to take care of herself and listen to whatever her doctor is advising her, and a cookie party is at the bottom of her priority list.

Well, don't tell anyone, but since Chandra won't be there to inspect my presentation, I'm taking Chocolate Chip Cookies. After feeding the birds my first batch, that's all I could come up with using the remaining ingredients I had on hand. But don't worry - I threw in some dried cranberries to make them "really different." And Jim said these tasted good!

PHOTO: Sun setting over Perugia, Italy.

Thinking of Christmas

I've just been piddling around today. I did put out a few Christmas decorations, and I think they look nice. I don't want to put out a lot of decorations, because I don't want the job of putting it all away after my surgery. Also I don't want to leave it for Jim to do. He may end up with a lot of extra things to do, and doesn't need un-decorating on top of everything else.

It was pretty wintery outside again. The birds were having a great time at the feeders. I saw some birds I don't usually see - two bluebirds, a cedar wax wing. Many of the birds drink out of the waterfall. Twice today we heard a smack against the window as birds crashed into them. That happens on rare occasions, but it happened two times today within the span of an hour. Poor little things.

My project for tomorrow morning is to make Christmas cookies, two different types. In the afternoon I'm going to a tree trimming party, which should be a lot of fun and a chance to indulge in some Christmas decorating. Sunday there is a cookie exchange, thus the need to bake cookies. It will be a nice party, and the good thing is that everyone comes home with a cookie assortment for the holidays. That is assuming they last that long, which of course they won't.

PHOTO: An Italian Farmhouse. Photo taken from the window of our tour bus.

MUGA Test Results

Well, not such good news today. I called Dr. Silva's office this morning to see what the results were on my MUGA test from yesterday. The answer was that there hadn't been any significant change from a month ago. What we were looking for was to have the EF raised from 47% (Ejection Fraction - the fraction of blood pumped out of a ventricle with each heart beat) to at least 50%. It was 46%. Dr. Silva said we need to wait another month to see if there is improvement. If not, I may have to see a cardiologist. So far I don't have any congestive heart failure symptoms, which is what happens sometimes with Herceptin. I'll just have to wait another month, and there is nothing that I can do myself to help this heart valve issue along.

Meanwhile, this delay just pushes the end date another month further out. I'm not even sure that continuing Herceptin will be an option for me. LaDonna, my chemo nurse, said there is another treatment, in a pill form as opposed to an IV infusion, that Dr. Silva may decide to try instead of Herceptin. That would be if after another month there hasn't been improvement in my MUGA test. I asked her if the problem I'm having is common or rare, and she said it's rare.

I wasn't sure how this new information would affect my mastectomy surgery, if at all, so I emailed Dr. Schultz to let him know these results, and he replied that my EF was fine for surgery, that the surgery is a relatively non-invasive procedure.

This whole issue kind of took the wind out of my sails today. I really thought my test would show improvement. I also have mixed feelings about Herceptin anyway. It's a powerful drug against my type of breast cancer, one that is more aggressive and more prone to recur. Maybe for me it's one of those things where if it doesn't kill you, it'll cure you. I was getting Herceptin along with the chemo drug, Taxol. Throughout the 3 months of weekly treatments, it was the Taxol I thought might be a problem. The side effects from Taxol are neuropathy in hands and feet, mouth sores, muscle and joint pain, low blood counts, loss of hair, loss of taste buds, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea. I had some of these, but it wasn't too bad. It didn't occur to me that I'd have lingering problems with the Herceptin. Sigh ...

PHOTO: One of the streets in Pompeii, resurrected not too long ago after being buried in ash and lava from the erruption of Mt. Vesuvius, 79 A. D.

Winter's First Snowfall

We woke this morning to our first snowfall of the season. It started out with just a dusting, but continued steadily throughout the day, and we ended up with about 4 inches by tonight. Jim was unable to get his truck into our driveway when he came home this afternoon, so he left it there for a few hours until it was time for us to leave to go to my MUGA appointment. The appointment was for 6:15 and we left here about 5:45. The roads were snowy and slippery, but everyone drove safely and we got there easily and in plenty of time.

I had to have another MUGA (cardiac activity) to see if my efficiency percentage has improved over the past month. I'm supposed to have another Herceptin treatment on Friday. My Herceptin treatment was put on hold for a month to give the heart valves a chance to recover. The efficiency had dropped from 66% down to 47% in 3 months. It should be 50% or above. After the MUGA we went to T.G.I. Friday's for dinner, which was very good. We haven't been going out to dinner lately, so it was a nice treat. We both enjoyed our dinners and there wasn't a bite left on either plate.

After dinner we drove home with relative ease. The main roads were only wet by that time. But once we got back to our road, the truck only made it up about 3/4 of the way before slip-sliding to a halt. Jim backed up and parked the truck on the grass until tomorrow and we walked the remainder of the way. This does not bode well for the season if this is the way we're starting off. My friend Cathy told me that her husband was stopped on his way home this afternoon by the police and told he couldn't go any further without 4-wheel drive. Apparently another motorist had just driven his Jeep into Liberty Reservoir. Yikes!

I don't think the snow is going to last long. By Sunday the temperatures are supposed to be in the 60's, so it should be long gone.

PHOTO: Today's snowfall taken from the front step of our house.

Ladies' Night Out

Old Man Winter has arrived with a vengence. No snow yet, but it's cold, and the wind is something else. Loud and strong. The kitties meow to go out and when you open the door, they stick out their noses, turn around, and walk away. They don't like wind. It spooks them, with the noise and the leaves swirling around. I hear it's supposed to be warmer by the end of the week, but it was 25° a few minutes ago. Brrrrr....

I went to a crafting evening tonight at friend's house. She's an artist and an art teacher, and every month about a dozen women gather in her home studio and we make various art projects. Tonight we also had a Christmas party, with everyone bringing something to eat or drink. Yum! It was a lengthy project and after more than 2 hours, I didn't have enough time to finish. I wasn't alone. I don't know if anyone actually completed their project. So, I gathered up the materials to finish at home. It's a calendar, made with stamping and card making materials. Lots of cutting, punching, gluing, coloring, painting, stamping, taping. With 12 months to make, I only actually finished 6, and brought home the kits to do the rest. It's cute and innovative. Each month is inserted individually into a stand-up frame with a glass front. If the calendar doesn't get finished, well, it can be used to frame a photograph. Win, win.

Made some Peppermint Bark candy today to take with me to the crafting party. It turned out pretty well, looked festive, and I think it was good. Turned out to be a lot of work breaking up the candy canes, though.

PHOTO: Column ruins in Pompeii, Italy. It looks surreal to me, like a movie set.

Allergies or Chemo?

I broke out in hives yesterday, and they have remained today. Not a lot, but they are on my face in several places, small red spots or welts. It's probably an allergic reaction to something. I noticed the first one yesterday by the side of my nose, just next to where the nose pad of my glasses is. It was itchy, and I rubbed it, noticing the swelling bump, and before long it was a hive. The rest of them, one or two, are smaller and on my cheeks and by my lip. It happens to me every now and then, nothing I pay much attention to, but I wonder what caused it just now. It's itchy. And so attractive.

The other thing that DOES bother me - a lot - is the streaming eyes. Drives me nuts. I could blame it on pollen, but it's not the season. Dust? The cats? Sometimes I can barely see because it's like I'm crying all the time. I had thought it was related to the chemo, but I haven't had any chemo since November 1st, over a month now. I always cram tons of Kleenex in my purse and pockets, in the car, everywhere, because I'm constantly needing a tissue to sop up the tears and blow my nose. I've been having this ever since I started chemo. Maybe before then, I can't remember just when it started, but I thought it was a side effect of chemo. If it's still going on after the surgery I may see an allergist. Or someone.

I got an envelope in the mail today from my surgeon's office. It's all the information regarding the scheduled time of surgery, when to arrive, what to do in preparation, etc. Sigh. It sounds pretty official, so I guess it's really going to happen. In a way, I wish it were going to be this week, just to get it over with. I've had too much time to think about it. Last night I found myself thinking how I would be sleeping after the surgery. How would I be comfortable, where would a pillow be most useful, would my arm feel better over my head or at my side, etc. Too much time to anticipate all the details. That's probably where the hives are coming from - nerves!

PHOTO: We took a wonderful trip to Italy in 2006, and I have many memorable photos of that trip. I think I'll post some Italy photos this week. I hope you like them.

This is a photo of a beautiful frescoe inside a bath house in Pompeii, Italy, the city buried in 79 A. D. when Mount Vesuvius erupted. In 1748 the ruins of Pompeii were rediscovered, and over time, excavations have uncovered much of Pompeii and give us a remarkable glimpse into a thriving city at the height of the Roman Empire. At the time of the eruption, Pompeii had about 20,000 inhabitants, and was a vacation spot for many Romans. The wealthier Romans had their vacation villas there.

Nervous Energy

I'm pooped. I've been cleaning, sorting, organizing, donating, and discarding for hours. Enough for today, even though I'm not finished. The good thing is that I am keeping myself entertained by listening to a new book on CD while I'm working, so it makes the job easier. I think I'm starting to get nervous about my upcoming surgery, and I want to take care of as much as I can before it happens. The recovery time is probably several weeks, maybe longer. Some movements will be limited for a longer time - raising my arm, lifting. Probably more, but I don't know what they are at this point. Oh, no vacuuming, I remember. I wonder, if you use the opposite hand/arm, can you do those things? I'm not sure about driving. I think you have to wait for some period of time before you can drive, although I'm not sure the reason. Turning the steering wheel, looking over your shoulder to back up?

The thing that gives me the willies is that I will have one or more drains in place when I leave the hospital. They will probably be there for a week, more or less. Yuck. I am supposed to empty these drains and keep track of the amount of fluid that has drained out. Double yuck. I also have heard that the removal of the drain is everything from the worst pain ever felt to no big deal. Everybody's experience is different. The doctor or nurse yanks it out, and it's probably fairly long, embedded as it is in the chest. I will make sure I take some pain medication before it gets yanked. Lots!

On a cheerier note, my hair is in need of a trim. I know, I know - ha ha. But actually, on the back of my neck and around my ears, it's long enough to be sticking out, so I feel like it should be trimmed to look neater. I'll have to get out the clippers we bought when Jim shaved my head back in June. Pretty soon it will start to look like Dame Judy Dench's hairstyle, which I happen to think is pretty nice.

PHOTO: Something that I find amusing.

Winter Already?

Winter has arrived. Brrrr...... The cats' water dish outside is frozen over, maybe frozen solid. Pong hollered nonstop to go outside, but didn't stay out for long. Once back inside, it was time to spread out in front of the fireplace. What a life these guys lead.

Last night I finished listening to an excellent book on CD I had checked out from the library. Eleven discs. It's a psychological thriller called "Gentlemen and Players" by Joanne Harris. The reader of the novel adds to the interest by taking on different voices for the various characters. He must be an actor. The plot involves mysterious goings-on at a private grammar school for boys in northern England at the beginning of a new term. "The story is told by two alternating first person narrators. One of them is Roy Hubert Straitley, a 65-year-old Latin master who has devoted all his life to St Oswald's and who now, nearing the end of his professional career, finds himself the last surviving member of the dying breed of classics teachers. The other narrator is the perpetrator, whose identity is only revealed in the final part of the book, and whose plotting the reader is able to follow first hand." Definitely a good story.

Since it's a rather dismal-looking day outside, I think I'll indulge in a little baking. Cathy sent me a recipe for microwaved peanut brittle, and I may give that a try as well. I'd like to have something to bring with me on Friday when I go back to St. Joseph's for a Herceptin treatment. I've been on a time out from that for a month to see if my heart valves have recovered from the weekly Herceptin treatments I had been receiving. My MUGA prior to the last scheduled treatment indicated that the cardiac efficiency had droped to 46% and it should be 50% or more. Before I started the Herceptin it was 66%. Anyway, I have another MUGA scheduled for Wednesday and we'll see if I can go back. I miss all my chemo nurses and doctor!

PHOTO: View from our front yard last winter.