Reflections in the Mirror

After the passing of one year following a diagnosis of breast cancer - having gone through multiple biopsies, a port-au-cath, 6 months of chemotherapy, a mastectomy and 33 radiation treatments - having earned a pathology report stating "No Evidence of Disease," I now declare myself a Breast Cancer Survivor! Hoorah!

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Location: Finksburg, Maryland, United States

I love the changing seasons of the year, spending time with family and friends, sharing a dessert with two forks, reading a really great book, and warm sunshine. I have a dear husband and 4 beautiful Tonkinese cats. I have so many interests I can't stick with any one, and tend to flit from one to another. Life is good...

Monday, July 21, 2008

Catching Up


My first post since Thursday. It was a full weekend, and I enjoyed every minute of it. Friday my friends and I met for an afternoon of crafting. We're making birdhouses, or I should say we're decorating them with paint and embellishments. They turned out really cute, and for the first time, all of us nearly finished a project in one sitting. That's really saying something for the 4 of us.

Saturday was a day of yard sailing and lunch out - our typical and treasured way of spending the day. Lots of great small treasures all around. We were thankful to end up in air conditioning after the heat and humidity. It was around 90°, and has been ever since each day.

Yesterday was a family day with David, Karen, and the boys. We had a simple but delicious meal cooked on the grill, but I stood firm on eating inside. I wanted to be comfortable, and I think everyone else did too. Jim and David spent a long time in the basement doing wood business with the lathe, while Karen and I had a good time catching up on our lives. She's got a great tan going from spending a lot of time taking tennis lessons and playing. I give her credit for being so active on the court with the heat we've had. She loves it and is learning quite a bit from the pro.

Today should have been our monthly book club, but the hostess arrived home yesterday after a week's vacation to find that her air conditioning had died. Totally. She made a decision to cancel the luncheon rather than have us over in the sweltering heat, a decision that I think was wise. She has a lot to deal with in taking care of the problem, and hosting a party is definitely a burden she doesn't need right now.

Tonight I got my birdhouse out and spent some time embellishing it. I'm pleased with what I've done so far. In a non-verbal way, it tells a story. A tongue in cheek story, but I think it's kind of humorous. It's definitely an art piece now, one with a somewhat dark side to it. I need a little more time to so some final painting touches, and then I'll take a photo of it and post it on the blog.

Tomorrow afternoon I will start back volunteering for Library Link. I'm looking forward to it.

PHOTO: Bunches of lavender at the Lavender Farm, Cape Cod.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Poor Little Kitty Cat


Poor little Paddle. Old Auntie Padoo went to the vet's today with a bad tooth. She's 12 years old. I noticed that her gums were inflamed and her right canine tooth was looking pretty grisly. It had a lot of tartar on it and was looking bad at the gums. I called our vet, and they are closed on Thursdays. I decided I really wanted to take her in, because I was watching her last night, and I thought she might be in pain. She didn't want to eat her favorite food - fresh rotisserie chicken - so I knew something must be up.

I called another vet a little further down the road from our regular vet, and he is really good. They told me to bring her and would work around their other appointments. Turns out, her canine tooth had to be pulled. It was infected with pockets of pus and infection. The vet did some blood work to check out her general health and extracted the tooth. He gave her some anesthetic and put her out for a short time, got the tooth out, gave her antibiotics and pain medication, and took very good care of her. Jim and I picked her up late this afternoon, and she has been walking like she's drunk since we came home. Her eyes are fully dilated and she's disoriented, but she seems calm and is not in pain. She notices the hole in her mouth and licks her tongue around it.

She looks pathetic trying to wash her face with her paw. Every time she takes a swipe, she falls over. What a sorry little cat! When we picked her up, the vet spent some time talking with us and showing us the tooth that came out, the hole in her jaw, and talked about what else needs to be done with her teeth. She has 2 more teeth that will need extracting, since they have cavities, and her other canine is only half there. It was broken off about 5 years ago and also has some infection. The antibiotics should take care of that. We will be talking to the vet tomorrow to hear the results of the blood tests and give him a report on how she's doing. We'll have to make an appointment to take care of the rest of her dental issues once this trauma heals.

Poor little thing. She's been crying a lot lately, and that must be the reason. The cavities are bothering her, from what the vet says. The probe caused her jaw to chatter when he touched the cavities (she was out then) so he knows the nerves are exposed. Poor baby!

I was very impressed with the "bedside manner" of the new vet, and will use him from now on. Our other vet doesn't communicate as well, so it's a good change. Paddle seemed very content curled up in his arms when he brought her out, so apparently she feels comfortable with him.

PHOTO: Paddle sleeping

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Back to St. Joe's for Herceptin


Jim and I went into Towson today to St. Joe's. I had a Herceptin treatment that took forever. The appointment was for 11:30, but I didn't get out of there until after 2:30. They were short-staffed today, and I had to wait a while before I was called in. The treatment had to be given very slowly because they were giving me a "dose dense" amount - more concentrated. I took in a book, so I was entertained. I brought the nurses some of my art work - greeting cards and bookmarks.

We stopped at Sam's Club on our way home and did some food shopping. I loaded us up with fresh fruit and veggies, which we eat a lot of. We also picked up a rotisserie chicken that we had for dinner tonight. I've tried an experiment. I recently bought a package of special produce bags that are supposed to extend the life of fruits and vegetables from 1 to several weeks, as well as retaining the nutritional value. They're reusable and each bag can be used up to 20 times. So now we have a fridge full of all these green bags with strawberries, plums, grapes, melon, peppers, and mixed veggies. Bananas too, but not in the fridge. If it works, that's terrific. I don't know what the point is, but it must have something to do with the gases that are expelled. Stay tuned.

I did some painting again tonight. I started a painting from another of my Italy photos - this one is a blue door on Capri. It's coming along, but I needed to put it aside to dry until tomorrow. I have to do some more work on it once it's dried so that it doesn't bleed through. I have hopes for this one, if I don't mess it up. I find that painting is relaxing and fun to do, even though I still don't know what I'm doing. I've been collecting a nice library of watercolor instruction books, and I've gone through all of them, but I think maybe I should go back and re-read them.

Photo: My inspirational photo from Capri.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Getting My Groove Back



Today was a mowing day. After all the rain we've had, the grass was pretty thick. I started out early, and the lawn was still pretty wet, so it was a little harder to cut than usual. It took over 3 hours.

I did some watercolor painting last night, and it was too complicated a picture, so I ended up abandoning it. I resolved to take on simpler subjects from now on, and that's what I did tonight. I enjoyed doing the painting. They were being sold in Stresa, Italy at a roasted chestnut festival. It was a really colorful event, and it was fascinating to watch. I love the photo, and the watercolor painting of it - well, not so nice. I'll take it in to my class on Thursday and ask for some advice from my instructor. I wouldn't mind doing it again to see if I could do it any better.

I'm going to be starting back doing my volunteer job at the library. I've gone in once in a while over the past year, but only a few times. Now I've made a commitment to going in on Tuesday afternoons. I'll enjoy getting back into it again, and it sounds as if there will be some moving around coming up that will mean a lot of extra work.

Tomorrow I have another Herceptin appointment. It's been a while since I've been there, and it'll be good to see everyone again.

PHOTO: My painting interpretation of the Stresa photo.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Weekend


This has been a great weekend. Friday we were crafting at Cathy's, Saturday we went yard sailing followed by a great lunch, and today Cathy and Greg, Jim and I went in to Baltimore to The Book Thing. I think i wrote about this before, but to recap, it's a recycling center for books - a free, organized accumulation of shelved books, where anyone can walk in, take as many books on as many topics as you can think of, and walk out the door. There are thousands of books on all subjects. I think most everyone who uses the facility brings in books every time they come. We do. It's a large, one-story, many-roomed building. All 4 of us left with a full tote of books and magazines. Jim brought home several James Michener books he hasn't yet read, plus an assortment of other books, including Leon Tolstoy's War and Peace. That one alone will keep him out of trouble for months, I think. It's more than 1400 pages. His new book stack is about 3 feet high.

I was pleased to find several books by some of my favorite authors - Alexander McCall Smith, Elizabeth Berg, Elizabeth George, John Mortimer, Christina Schwarz - plus some unknowns and an assortment of craft books. How cool is that? The only negative was that it was so bloody hot inside that it was difficult to browse. I was dripping! They don't have any air conditioning. It was 90° outside, but it actually felt cooler than the inside when we finally left.

Cathy spent most of her time looking for books that would make good roofs for bird houses. It's a new craft we're working on. Sounds odd, I'm sure, but you should see how adorable the finished product is!

I completed another painting tonight, and would have put it on my blog, but I have a scanner that insists it has no software installed for scanning, although I have scanned with it many times. What a slacker! Every so often it does this, and sometimes I am able to get it to scan even so, but tonight it's defeated me. I feel like we should take in a computer geek for free room and board in exchange for full time computer upkeep.

Sharon had things to keep her busy at home today, so she wasn't able to join us. I think she planned to have her husband give her a hand around the house. They have some big remodeling plans coming up soon, and she's been trying to get her entire house organized before that happens. One thing she's completed outside is an entire new perennial garden of assorted flowering plants, spanning the entire side of her driveway and house. It looks just beautiful, and you wouldn't know it hadn't been there for years. Being a perennial garden, it will all come up next year on its own. There aren't any weeds either, since she put down 5 or more truckloads of mulch. I'm in awe, since I have a much smaller area to keep up and can't keep ahead of it.

PHOTO: A building at the Lavender Farm on Cape Cod.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Another MUGA Scan









Jim and I were so efficient today. I had a MUGA appointment in Timonium, and we had other errands in the general area, so I went to MapQuest and plotted out a point to point plan, starting from home to each of the stopping points and back home again. I figured Jim could drop me off at my appointment and he could carry on with the errands, come back and pick me up, and we'd go home.

Of course, nothing is ever as simple as that. First, Jim ventured off on the scenic route to Timonium instead of using the MapQuest highway route, and I panicked. I needed to be at my appointment at 2:15. He did get us there by 2:15 - just - and I went in. Long story short, it was the wrong place! I needed to be at their other office on York Road, about 7 miles away. I called him on the cell phone and told him about the mixup, and he came back a couple of minutes later and picked me up. We plugged the new address into Buttercup (GPS) and off we went. By this time I was a mess of upset. We finally arrived onto York Road, but had a few problems locating their address. Had to turn around and go back, and I ended up walking all around the building to find the entrance. It was just after 2:30 when I signed in, all flustered and a bundle of nerves. A few minutes later, Jim walked in. He had decided to stay with me for moral support instead of going on the errands. I convinced him that it would be better to go ahead with our original plans, since my appointment would be at least an hour and a half long. He reluctantly agreed, and after all that, I didn't get called in until nearly 3:00! So much for all the rushing around.

The first step in the MUGA scan is that the technician starts an IV and removes a small quantity of blood, which is then labeled with a radioactive isotope, and after a 20 minute wait, the labeled blood is re-inserted through the IV and into the vein. As I walked over to get onto the table, the technician said wait, you're bleeding. I looked down and blood had soaked through the gauze and was dripping all down my arm. YIKES! Back to the chair where she replaced the saturated gauze, put more pressure on the vein and cleaned me up. What a mess. I'm fine with needles, but I don't look at them, and as long as I don't see the blood, I'm fine. I tend to freak out when I see my own blood dripping.

Inside the machine, which is like an MRI machine - a tube - I was lying there with my hands over my head, with the machine nearly touching me all around, and I had an itchy nose. Naturally. I managed to wiggle my hand down and scratched my nose, then I got sleepy and nodded off. Woke up when the machine started beeping that it was finished.

The good news is that it appears that my MUGA percentage went back up again, so I should be able to have my Herceptin treatment next week at the Oncology office. I got out of there about 4:15, Jim was waiting for me, and we came on home. All the errands were taken care of, and Jim made himself a big Manhatten.

PHOTOS: More photos of Cape Cod. 1, 2, 3) Jim's brother's house on the Cape where we stayed. 4, 5, 6, 7) Photos taken in Sandwich. No. 5 is an old grist mill. 8) Jim taking the plunge in the ocean at Red River beach.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Hot and Sizzling






It's dusk just now, and I was out calling for Pong to come in. The fireflies, or lightening bugs as we used to call them, are out flashing their each other, and it looks so pretty. It's rather magical. We call our cats and clap our hands when we want them to come in, and although our neighbors must think we're rather weird, it does work. I hadn't seen Pong, and was just walking around a little in the back and I heard him. He was meowing and running from around the front of the house. I think he was across the road at the neighbors' house. It was so funny to see him so excited to come in. Usually we get an attitude from him, because he wants to stay outside after his curfew, but tonight he was probably hungry. That's the one "leash" we have - if he wants to eat, he has to come inside. No food is ever put outside. Now he's washing his paws and rolling on the carpeting. I think he must have had enough "outside" today. No complaints - yet, anyway.

I worked outside in the garden today pulling up weeds. It was so hot and humid. I couldn't keep up with the sweat dripping off my nose and face. It's done, anyway, and I'm glad about that. I still have more yard work to do and weeding in other areas, and I hope to get out again for a while tomorrow. I have a couple of mystery plants that I left. I'm pretty sure they aren't weeds, but I'll have to have one of my friends clue me in. I'm probably cultivating some well-nourished weeds.

Later in the afternoon we had a real downpour. It didn't last a long time, but it really came down. The sky looked ominous and we could tell it was going to rain. I was on the phone and reminded Jim that Ball and Pong were outside. He went outside and called them, and the dummies didn't want to come in, even though Jim could hear the rain coming towards us. He ended up tossing one cat in and chasing the other one around the patio table before latching onto his tail. Dumb as a box of rocks, as he said.

I have a friend who is going along a similar path that I've been on with breast cancer. Our types of cancer are similar, therefore we have been through similar treatments - chemo, surgery, radiation, Herceptin - and on a similar time table. We met at Radiation Therapy and compared notes. She has experienced a similar side effect that I've had with Herceptin - a drop in the heart valve efficiency, detected with a MUGA scan. She surprised me today with a special bottle of wine. As she said, only she and I would be able to relate to the name of the wine. It's called "Muga." You gotta love it!

Photos: Images from our vacation on Cape Cod.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Vacation on Cape Cod







Jim and I arrived home last night, or I should actually say this morning, at 1:30 am. We really packed a full day at each end of the vacation. We left on a 6:50 am flight on June 30th and returned on a 10:45 pm flight yesterday, July 7th. It was a great trip. We were guests of Jim's brother and sister-in-law for a week at their summer house in South Harwich, Cape Cod. Everything went extremely well. The weather was great - it only rained once - and although it was hot and humid a lot of the time, it is summer after all. The cottage is 1 mile from Red River Beach, so we walked. Jim and I went together once. It was really windy on the beach, and the sand was flying low to the ground, but hardly any wind at all once we were off the beach. The water temperature was 65°, but Jim loved it and swam. I didn't have a bathing suit, so satisfied myself with sitting on a sand chair under an umbrella, watching all the people. It was perfect.

We visited with friends on the Cape, ate our fill of all the expected foods - chowder, clams, lobster, corn on the cob, watermelon, salads, ice cream - had a lot of family time, I did some sketching and painting, and on Sunday we had an old-fashioned clam bake for 15 people.

The clam bake started out with a hole dug in the ground. We started with some rocks, plenty of wood and a hot fire, wet seaweed, cheesecloth bags filled with onions, potatoes, sweet potatoes, sausages, hot dogs, Portuguese linguisa, ears of corn, and clams. More seaweed went on top of the food, and a canvas tarp covered everything. Lobsters were boiled on the stove top. For those who passed on the bake, there were cold shrimp, grilled burgers, potato salad and a green tossed salad.

Twenty-five years ago, the family had another clam bake to celebrate Jim's father's 80th birthday. That one took place at Grampa's and Nana's place on the Cape in Buzzards Bay. I have scanned photos of that event, and we all enjoyed looking back at the pictures, seeing the family members who had passed on, and how we had all looked so long ago. Well, everyone but me. Being the photographer, I don't end up in any photos! We hope to have another clam bake next year, and hopefully more family members can come. Everyone is spread out all over the map, so that may be a real challenge.

I took quite a few photos over the week, and will post more of them on my blog as time goes by.

PHOTOS: 1) The seaweed. 2) Getting the fire going. 3) Alan putting food on the fire while Jim looked on. 4) Steam escaping after the tarp was raised. 5) The table full of food. 6) The lobsters. 7) Raising a toast.